We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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