can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
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