There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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