nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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