I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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