And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Im part way to drunk.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize