I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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