Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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