Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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