I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
