Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
third nipple confirmed
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
