Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
