Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
