What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Houston, we have a squirter
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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