Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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