I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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