I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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