I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
