I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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