Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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