Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
