he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I wish you could order shots online.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
