Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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