He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
