Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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