They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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