it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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