So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
