At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The Olympian is in my bed
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
