There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
