my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
