He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
