And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
