God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
