question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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