On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
