who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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