Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
