i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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