For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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