dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
