The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize