Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He passed out mid-signature
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
