Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm too high and old for this...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
