Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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