Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
