i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Small penises have feelings too.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
