I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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