no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
