So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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