just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize