I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
