A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
