: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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