She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
