Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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