i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
