The maid of honor just puked.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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