You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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