sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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