I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the room spins SO much faster in panama
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize