I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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