Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
