New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
