Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I could make wine with my vomit
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
