Having a random hookup so left but love u
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize