I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
